@losingmymind I know it is hard to be alone with a child. I pay to send him to a private pe primary school which he loves and pay someone to come and clean and do laundry twice a week so my wife can ride her bike go to shops and gym and have time to go have coffee and visit friends

@khaleezi91 it's ok. I just am very hurt by the whole story and don't trust or like this woman . all our friends say since this woman has moved in to our house they also never hear or see my wife. so It has added to my fears. I know my wife has not had sex with this woman but I don't trust this woman and her husband left her and put a report in at there divorce proceedings saying he is leaving his wife cause she is having an affair with my wife. I feel insecure and emotional and I will be the first to admit that I have said something in a very wrong manner

@losingmymind sorry for all the ad ons. I also wanted to say. my wife and child are the most important things in the world to me. I have asked her to go to couples counseling with me. she has agreed . I have offered to pay for her to study to try get a good job. I have done so many times and I offered again . I told her if she studies something and does leave me still . at least I know she has a better chance. and if she studies and doesn't leave me then we can both get semi decent jobs and we can afford for me to work at home. she has not answered me. I want nothing more than to be home with my family every day and night. it kills me that I have to be away. but I also have to provide for my family.

@losingmymind also I don't know where you are from and what things are like there. but we live in South Africa . jobs are very hard to come by and it is even harder to find a job that pays a livable income. she has had a few jobs and they paid awful. I used to work 2 jobs and we still could not pay our bills.

@losingmymind I do want her to have friends. I am not saying a lesbian can't be friends with a girl . I just don't think it's right that they move in to another person's house. same as straight couples can have platonic friends of another sex. but if a woman invited a male friend to stay at their house whilst he is away on business and on top of it he gets home and the guy is still there. I'm sure he won't be impressed either. I'm not saying I handled the problem well. hell no I let fear and anger get the best of me and stuffed that up properly. I just fail to see why a woman I hardly know and my wife knows for less than a year gets to stay in our house free .

@khaleezi91 before this woman moved in to our house we where still good. Good communication. Good sex . she would wait excitedly for my daily video calls. I have worked away often for a while and admit it is not ideal. but my wife cannot get a job and we were not able to pay our bills on my salary at home so we both decided together that it was the right desktop . I admit accusing her of an affair was not one of my finest moments. when we started the adoption process whilst I already work away and my wife was insistent that this is what she wanted. I asked her over and over are you sure. you know I am not there all the time to help. she said yes.she wants to be a mother more than anything in the world

We are a lesbian couple together 12 years married 6. i work away from home a lot so try to give her as much freedom as possible. about 3 months ago whilst I was away. her straight friend of less than a year broke up with her husband . my wife invited her and her 2 kids to stay in our house and I only found out after. I was not to happy. but figured it was only for a short while. in the mean time my wife became distant . I call every day and felt like she doesn't want to talk to me.I ask when is the woman moving out but the answer was always she is looking. so 2 months later I get home they are still there. I just think they not going to move out why would they. free home free satellite tv free internet even a free maid. I keep asking my wife what is happening and she gets defensive. I think hang on something is going on so by now we are in a big fight and I accuse her of having an affair. she gets mad storms out and later via message she says she did love me but now it's more like a friendship. I completely lose it and tell her I want the woman out our house immediately. she is mad with me she says the woman is straight. I said but the point is we are not. she says I'm wrong for kicking her out . I recon I wasn't asked in the first place and the woman being there is negatively affecting our marriage and she is not our problem. nor is where she is going to live . I just know it's not in my house at my families expense. we just adopted a child 1 year ago. my wife has cut off all her other friends and and only hangs out with this woman . strange to me. my wife has even gone to court with this woman to help her with her divorce. I hardly know the woman and have never met her husband who she constantly bad mouths. She makes him out to be such a bad guy. but I don't know for all I know her stories are bull and he is actually a good person . but honestly I don't care. I just want this woman to disappear. even after kicking her out my wife still remains her friend and says they have done nothing wrong so she won't stop being her friend