Yes I don't know you, but if you need someone to talk to just know that someone is here.
I know how you feel. I suffer from depression as well. The truth behind depression is it sucks, its hard to take control and its difficult to heal. Here is some advice and maybe a good standard operating procedure fo you, I hope it helps.
Identify what things spike your depression. Write them down. Trying to see what causes your depression to worsen will give you the start down the path to healing.
Figure out, what you can do, if you can remove these 'spikers' from your life. Spikers are things, events or people that worsen your depression. The things that you can not remove from your life should be written on a separate list.
The list of Spikers that can not be removed from your life may seem substantially large, but, in fact is less than you think. Pick one and try working on how to deal with it, if you can't figure it out, pick another. When you have troubles, try bringing it to someone you love and trust. As them to help figure it out. This can even be a doctor, therapist, friend or family member.
Remember that you're strong.
When you've solved an issue with a spiker, you will feel just a bit better. With depression success is like a shot of adrenaline. A slight warming sensation, a smile or even the acknowledgement within yourself.
Repeat step 4. When you come down to the feeling "I give up", remember that you don't really give up. Your depression is suppressing your motivation and will make you feel as though you don't care. You actually do care, otherwise you wouldnt be depressed.
Seek a therapists help if you struggle. There is nothing wrong with getting help. I spent 10+ years in therapy. I would be dead without it. Remember you're not alone. Everyone suffers with depression. Some deal with it easier than others.
Message me if you want to talk. I like helping people, I like reminding people that they are worth more than they feel. I have love to give and loving others helps me with my depression.
Never give up, resort to step 8 if you feel like giving up.
I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I AM NOT A THERAPIST OR A DOCTOR OF ANY SORT. I AM HOWEVER A FELLOW HUMAN BEING THAT CARES ABOUT EVERYONE EQUALLY AND WILL DO EVERYTHING WITHIN MY ABILITIES AND POWER TO HELP SOMEONE. IF YOU ARE SUFFERING WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS PLEASE SPEAK TO A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND A SUICIDE HOTLINE AND MOST OF ALL TO THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU.
THIS MESSAGE IS FOR EVERYONE ON PLANET EARTH.
@girlnextdoor If your question is still relevant here's a small list.
contact them regularly
send them hand written letters, this shows thought, time and love.
remind them how much you love them
send them regular videos of where you are, share your experiences with them
when you do get the time and money, make a small trip home and spend a few days. Yes, it can be costly but it's probably the best thing for all of you. Or get them to you and spend some 1 on 2 time with them.
I hope this helps. I've been in your predicament before, so this is the stuff that worked for me.
Much Love, hope to hear about your experiences in the world.
From, a Stranger.