Best posts made by i.e.m. hopefully

@cjko I have trouble smiling on command without it feeling strained. usually when that happens, i enjoy it for a half a second but then i look away and pretend to look at something else. I think this might be putting a barrier between us. I'm trying to think about what i need to do to feel more confident in a situation in which someone i'm attracted to/or interested in is giving me attention. i guess there's a part of me that feels underserving and that rejection's inevitable.

@cjko lol, i know what you mean. I'm not trying to to be negative, I'm just saying that I truthfully tend to do the thing I don't want to do which is veer away from contact shyly instead of moving towards opportunities to be closer to the person I'm interested in. I did it the other day; I knew she was in the room, but felt too shy to say hi or look at her, so I pretended I didn't see her until a little bit later. Looking back, I wish I didn't do that, but it's a habit of defense I've developed. I'm trying to implement new positive attitudes an some of them are working; but it's a work in progress.