carry my weight ?
im lonely i need some company and help

its been almost 7 years dealing with depression and self-loathing,i found myself falling in love with some guy far away from me and we broke up once because he ignored me for some days and we made up and i know he loves me but iv been thinking a lot lately and felt down and when i asked him to bhere for me he didnt exactly act nice abt it . i said some hurtful things to him in a moment of rage .and we broke up .
but now im left lonely and hating myself more thn ever.