Best posts made by мария ставарова

writing this sentence post scriptum sorry for going so hard on it yeah probably went on a little too long.
i haven't seen a dream in a year or two i think. the last ones i had were all the same - me walking slowly through my hometown its late at night around 2 am or something but it wasn't just dark it was all black and white. like everything was shades of grey and streetlamps and some windows emmited white light. i always had few of my buds around looking disinerested and bored talking to each other but it came off just as white noise to me. i just drifted the empty streets aimlessly looking at boring old flats feeling out of this world. everytime it resulted in me falling on the ground on my back like i had a stroke and i was just there looking into the empty skies. slowly my companions would gather around me in a small circle looking at my eyes with a cold dead stare. when i woke up after one of these i always had sleep paralysis. it got better when the dreams ended but in the winter which is i presume is my escalation season i am still hit with another paralysis hallucination or psychosis from time to time. almost all of my family has history of mental ilness ranging from okayish to pretty severe. i don't really know if i am going to lose my mind in the following years and it's lowkey worrying me.