So my older brother is a full-time worker so he doesn’t really have time to run errands so he is telling me to do it, which I do since we are family. However, whenever I have complete an errand and he figure out the way I have done it is wrong or done it not in his way of doing it. He then teaches me in an offensive hard tone on how I could have done it better and do it in his way. Some phrases he often use “do you think at all when you do things”, ”do you have a brain?”, “idiot” etc… mostly passive offensive phrases. It might not sound offensive for you guys but getting these phrases often is actually destroying me mentally. The way he talks downs to me is impacting my confidence and self-esteem. Which leads to me questioning myself “Am I that stupid?”. I have of course tried and talk back but I that kind of guy who hate to discuss/argue and he often gets the last word which impacts me afterwards.

An example of a situation: He: “if you also need to order something from the websites (supplements store) can you also order this for me?”
In the situation, I will just put the items in the cart and pay the amount. Let’s say the amount was 35€ and we could get free shipping with the purchase of over 40€. We are usually ordering for over 40€ but in this situation we didn’t and I didn’t have any thoughts to it. So I paid the amount (35€ + shipping) which is around 42€. He then get mad at me for not have chosen another product for instance a protein bar so we could get the free shipping. I can see the logic…. but still we talk about 2€ vs protein bar but he is thinking about the money that we could saved etc. I also take the finance in consideration but sometimes I do not think about it when we talk about a small amount.

I agree that in some cases I could have handled cases better because I could see the common sense and sometimes I am clumsy and I don’t think that much when I doing the errand. But doesn’t allow him to talk down to me like that. His and my way of thinking is not the same and sometimes he expects that I can think the same way as he does….The main question is, how should I handle this when he is talking down to me which impacting hard mentally and am I wrong here in this example?

Thanks for taking your time reading it.

So my older brother is a full-time worker so he doesn’t really have time to run errands so he is telling me to do it, which I do since we are family. However, whenever I have complete an errand and he figure out the way I have done it is wrong or done it not in his way of doing it. He then teaches me in an offensive hard tone on how I could have done it better and do it in his way. Some phrases he often use “do you think at all when you do things”, ”do you have a brain?”, “idiot” etc… mostly passive offensive phrases. It might not sound offensive for you guys but getting these phrases often is actually destroying me mentally. The way he talks downs to me is impacting my confidence and self-esteem. Which leads to me questioning myself “Am I that stupid?”. I have of course tried and talk back but I that kind of guy who hate to discuss/argue and he often gets the last word which impacts me afterwards.

An example of a situation: He: “if you also need to order something from the websites (supplements store) can you also order this for me?”
In the situation, I will just put the items in the cart and pay the amount. Let’s say the amount was 35€ and we could get free shipping with the purchase of over 40€. We are usually ordering for over 40€ but in this situation we didn’t and I didn’t have any thoughts to it. So I paid the amount (35€ + shipping) which is around 42€. He then get mad at me for not have chosen another product for instance a protein bar so we could get the free shipping. I can see the logic…. but still we talk about 2€ vs protein bar but he is thinking about the money that we could saved etc. I also take the finance in consideration but sometimes I do not think about it when we talk about a small amount.

I agree that in some cases I could have handled cases better because I could see the common sense and sometimes I am clumsy and I don’t think that much when I doing the errand. But doesn’t allow him to talk down to me like that. His and my way of thinking is not the same and sometimes he expects that I can think the same way as he does….The main question is, how should I handle this when he is talking down to me which impacting hard mentally and am I wrong here in this example?

Thanks for taking your time reading it.