@TheRisingSun Someone had to go take a surgery. Isn't it?download (14).jpgπππ those moobs now history. Hope he'll like the new milk.
Send a funny pick-up line!
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@James-C-137 what's better than a baby in a trash bag? 40 babies in a trash bag.
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@mikeJB Ima take guess and say ur were the bully in schoolππ
I didn't read the top i just saw make a dark joke so i did haha ππ -
@XxBabyBooxX samir is I'd is Sam770
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@XxBabyBooxX what good about 21 year old's
THERES TWENTY OF EM ππππ
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@mikeJB savage XD
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that dress looks good on you but itd look alot better on my floor
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Is your name winter? Because youβll be coming soon.
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I couldβve called heaven and asked for an angel, but I was hoping youβre a slut instead.
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Can you do telekinesis? Because youβve made a part of me move without even touching it.
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One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong?
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Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore β my face should be among them.
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Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in Raw.
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Want to see if you can add βhas an awesome gag reflexβ to your resume?
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Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?
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The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
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Iβm not into watching sunsets, but Iβd love to see you go down.
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Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
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I donβt think I want your babies, but I wouldnβt mind refining my baby making technique with you.
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Letβs play carpenter. First weβll get hammered, then Iβll nail you.
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Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my penis.
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If itβs true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
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Are you a raisin? Because youβre raisin my dick.
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Iβd love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.
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Iβm a bird watcher and Iβm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?
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Do you run track? Because I heard you Relay want this dick.
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Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.
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Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
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Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of semen waiting for you.
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Was your dad a baker? Because youβve got a nice set of buns.
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Are you a shark? Because Iβve got some swimmers for you to swallow.
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I lost my keys⦠Can I check your pants?
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Are you a doctor? Because you just cured my erectile dysfunction.
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Do you like whales? Because we can go hump back at my place.
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Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good karma-sutra positions.
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When I saw you, I lost my tongue. Can I put yours in my mouth?
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Do you have a shovel? Because Iβm digging that ass.
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I hope you like dragons, because Iβll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
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Are you an archaeologist? Because Iβve got a bone for y
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Did you just come out of the oven? Because youβre hot.
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Do you work at Home Depot? Because youβre giving me wood.
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Is that a keg in your pants? Because Iβd love to tap that ass.
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Are you my new boss? Because you just gave me a raise.
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You are so selfish. Youβre going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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Hi, Iβm wasted but this condom in my pocket doesnβt have to be.
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Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
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If Iβm a pain in your assβ¦ We can just add more lubricant.
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Do you know your ABCβs? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.
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What has four legs and doesnβt have the most beautiful girl on it? My bed. Want to fix that?
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Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie. I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
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I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
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Are you a cowgirl? Because I can see you riding me.
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Are you the lottery lady on TV? Because Iβm picturing you holding up my balls.
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Do you mix concrete for a living? Because youβre making me hard.
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Iβm gonna have sex with you tonight so you might as well be there.
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Are you a farmer? Because youβve got some big, round, beautiful melons.
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Fuck me if Iβm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?
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Thatβs a beautiful smile, but itβd look even better if it was all you were wearing.
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Are you a racehorse? Because when I ride youβll always finish first.
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Did you grow up on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
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Roses or daises? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
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Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out.
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You can call me cake, because Iβll go straight to your ass.
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What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
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Are you flappy bird? Because I could tap you all night.
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Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
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Call me leaves, because you should be blowing me.
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I just popped a Viagra. So weβve got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
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Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and Iβll owe you one.
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You know what I like in a girl? My dick.
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Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
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Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
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As long as I have a face, youβll have a place to sit.
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I may not go down in history, but Iβll go down on you.
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Remember my name, because youβll be screaming it later.
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Why pay for a bra when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?
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Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.
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You should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand.
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The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
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There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
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Your place or mine? Tell you what? Iβll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
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Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.
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I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I donβt need it after all.
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Are you hungry? Because omelette you suck this dick.
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If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
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You must be Medusa because you make me rock hard.
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Do you go to church often? Because youβre gonna be on your knees tonight.
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My dickβs been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
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Is your name Dora? Because Iβll let you explore this dick.
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I would tell you a joke about my penis, but itβs too long.
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If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
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Are your legs made of Nutella? Because Iβd love to spread them.
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Let us let only latex stand between our love.
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Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight.
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have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What do you say we go upstairs and work out a remedy?
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I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in.
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That dress looks great on you⦠as a matter of fact, so would I.
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Iβm like Dominoβs Pizza. If I donβt come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
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There are plenty of fish in the sea, but youβre the only one Iβd like to catch and mount back at my place.
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Whatβs the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I donβt have a Ferrari.
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Why donβt you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
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Iβd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
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This may seem corny, but you make me really horny.
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Do you have pet insurance? Because your pussyβs getting smashed tonight.
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If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
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Iβm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
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My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
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Are you my homework? Cause Iβm not doing you but I definitely should be.
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Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
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Are those jeans Guess? Because guess who wants to be inside themβ¦
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Iβm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
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Donβt ever change. Just get naked.
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Iβm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
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Let me guess your favorite position: anything that involves my balls bouncing against your ass.
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Girl are you an iceberg? Because youβre making me want to go down.
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I can see into the future, and yeah, weβre gonna fuck at least once.
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Can you tell me what time your legs open, please?
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Smile if you want to have sex with me.
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My couch pulls out but I donβt.
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Are you butt dialing? Because I swear that ass is calling me.
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Do you like cherries? If not, can I have yours?
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I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.
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If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?
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Youβre so hot even my zipper is falling for you.
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I want to wear you like a pair of sunglasses⦠One leg over each ear.
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Letβs play house. You can be the door then I can slam you all I want.
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You know how your hair would look really good? In my lap.
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Iβll show you my tan lines if youβll show me yours.
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If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
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You know, if I were you, Iβd have sex with me.
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We should play strip poker. You can strip and Iβll poke you.
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Iβm scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room and help me test all my condoms?
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Iβll kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet.
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My magical watch says youβre not wearing any panties? Oh you are? Darn, it must be an hour fast.
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I hope youβre a plumber, because youβve got my pipe leaking.
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Letβs play Barbie. Iβll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.
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Liquor is not the only hard thing around here.
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What time do you get off? Can I watch?
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So youβre not into casual sex? Fine, Iβll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex.
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Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?
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Youβre on my list of things to do tonight.
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I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity.
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What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off.
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Are you related to Dracula? Because you looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me.
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Great dress. Iβm sorry Iβll have to rip it apart.
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I bet your nipples are pink. Mind if I take a look?
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Bet I can touch your belly button⦠from the inside.
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Want to save water by showering together?
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Iβm an adventurer and I want to explore your cave.
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Letβs play a game. The fastest person to take their clothes off wins.
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If I was your teacher Iβd give you the D.
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How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
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Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty.
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I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?
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Sit on my face and Iβll eat my way to your heart.
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Iβm a mindreader and yes I will sleep with you.
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I like my coffee how I like my woman⦠creamed.
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How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut.
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I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
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You look so good, I wanna kiss your lips and move up to your bellybutton.
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Letβs go to my place and do the things Iβll tell everyone we did anyway.
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Would it be weird if I wanted to bang your brains out, or just that I didnβt call you after?
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Want to go halves on a baby?
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Iβm like a Rubikβs Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get.
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I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.
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Am I on an episode of Fixer Upper? Because Iβve never seen hardwood like that in real life.
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My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. Wanna go back to my place and save me?
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Are you a supermarket sample? Because I wanna taste you again and again without any sense of shame.
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They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?
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Iβm just like a pore strip. Hard to get off, but extremely satisfied once you do.
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Youβre just like a wine tasting. They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing.
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I was feeling off today, but you definitely turned me on.
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Want a job? It blows.
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Hi, Iβm a burglarβ¦ and Iβm going to smash your back door in.
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Iβm a zombie, can I eat you out?
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Iβm a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?
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Some men go around telling women they have an eight-inch penis, but Iβd never shortchange myself like that.
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Your ass is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?
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I think my allergies are acting up. Because every time your around my dick swells up.
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Iβve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
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Iβm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.
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Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.
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Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, letβs go on a picnic and find out.
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Letβs go to my place and do some math. Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
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Youβre like my pinky toe, Iβm gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
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Do you know why they call me the cat whisperer? Because I know exactly what your pussy needs.
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Your face is like a wrench, every time I look at it my balls tighten up.
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Iβll be Burger King and you be McDonaldβs. Iβll have it my way and youβll be lovinβ it.
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Are you a sprinkler? Because youβre making me wet.
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@S-A-M-I She know My account we used to talk in personal Message!
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Is ur dad a fighter ?? ..cause ur a knock out .πππ
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If I said you were beautiful, would you take your pants off and dance a little?