@aGirlHasNoName greeting happy being,
U r survivor and very strong mentally, and I respsect for that from my whole heart and mind. 21salutes for you that you didn't kill yourself.
Past is gone what ever happened do not matter what you been through in past good or bad , because of your past experience you are what you are now.a strong women with survival instinct.
If a being has Birth death is fixed and certain we have to accept it do not matter all have to die one day universal truth it is, that do not stop living life happy ..
Regretting about past thinking about it and to fix the problem from past will mess you up more..
You are energy and you carry this human form and only body die, energy nor be created or destroyed it is as it is.
Think things which make you happy and positive and live with it having no fear or attachments, y just having Conscious to make you feel happy by not hurting your surroundings till you die.
Family , your husband love you from his heart but if you die he won't kill himself because you died.
K u had sex and had fun wonderful moments and something to remember in memories, u didnt had sex thinking your boy would come.
He choose the human form as you did he is energy and he's suppose to come do not matter with you or without he is lucky he found amazing universal gift as patents like you and your husband with lovley house and dog and fish. He is blessed by universe he will be protected far future..
All the Energies of the all iniberses bless you and guide you what you seek most .
Sorry do not get me wrong please forgive of I hurt you in my words may be some sense ( non sense or sense )