I don’t know what to do with my life

[m16-bi]

Tre years ago I was thinking about killing my self and the only thing that kept me from doing it was that I didn’t know how to say goodbye to my best friend and i even had a plan how to take suiside I wrote letters but they where not good and I couldn’t just do it and leave my best friend whit out knowing anything about why I did it and so I didn’t do it and then time when on and it got better but then recently my best friend moved and I feel we are drifting apart and he have stoped to speak to me online and I just feel like am starting to think about killing my self more and more and I just don’t know what to do to stop myself from it