having foster kids and adopting teens forced me to dig up my past.

[Floppy Nipplez]

I was taken by the state and put in an orphanage when I was 4, that's when the physical abuse started, day one I was slapped to the ground many times over daily for blinking too much. Then the state thought it was a wise idea to put toddlers in the same bedroom to share where teenage boys stayed. So then all the sexual abuse started by all the older boys on me and the little kids that were to share the room with them. I was abused for many years there, then I was placed back with my bio mom and her drunken alcoholic husband that like playing the knock-out game on me, that went on till I was around 15 when he knocked me out, when I got up I looked at him and told him "one day I will be bigger than you" and shortly after that he stopped. And myself and my brothers outgrew him by a foot. I let it all go, but have never forgotten my shitty past. (and so much more)

I went on to be a police officer for 28 years to help others and protect kids, I had a great career up till I retired a few years ago, my wife and I have adopted 3 different teens over the years as well as fostered many, many children in our home.

I never talked about my abuse (just buried it) till I turned 49 and that is because I when thought I had it bad, the 15-year-old girl I adopted was shot up with meth starting up at the age of 8 and pimped her out to the landlord for rent and other old men for money, this went on till she was taken by state at 13.

Then we adopted a set of 13-year-old twin boys that have been in and out of the system because of their parents making child porn videos of the kids with each other and other adults, these boys lived on the street and ate out of the dumpsters and rarely attended school and beaten by boyfriend till they were hospitalized over and over.

I didn't think taking on kids with similar past as mine would have triggered my past as it did, after finding a shrink that I trusted to talk to I opened up and let it all out, and that really helped me to deal with my past, wish I wouldn't had waited so long.