Small rant. Please ignore.

[squishyart]

Howdy this is me ranting about my feelings because my therapist recommended that I talk about how I feel but I don’t trust any of my friends so I thought this place might work. Please just ignore this and move on I promise it’s not worth it to read it.

I’m so goddamn sick of not feeling like I’m worth it. At this point no matter who I’m talking to can make me feel like I have any worth at all. I’m just constantly riddled with anxiety and if it’s not anxiety it’s a constant barrage of suicidal thoughts. Nothing at this point helps. I’m stuck in a loop of not being happy and wanting to end it all but being to afraid to end it all because if I fuck up and don’t die then I heavily risk going back to a mental hospital which I don’t want to go back to because it is a literal living hell. I don’t know what to do with these emotions at this point. I had a someone special in my life that immensely helped but just like a lot of other things my anxiety decided to act out and fuck that relationship up.