FUCK. MY. BRAIN.

[KurdtsTurds]

It's one of those times again. It's either this whole staying-inside-shit or just my own fucking head, but I feel like all hell has broken loose once again in that horrible brain of mine.

I can't bring myself to do anything of importance, I can't bring myself to eat, drink or sleep, I can't bring myself to articulate my issues in real life to the people who matter. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to fucking exist. I don't want people to care. I don't want to care.

I feel weak. Every time I stand up, I get dizzy and I feel lightheaded. Every step I take feels like I might collapse. My head is foggy, vision like tv-static, movement slow and everything's numb. I honestly wish I had the nerve to kill myself run away. But unfortunately, people care about me and unfortunately, I don't want to hurt them.

I feel like I'm going insane. Completely bonkers. Totally crazy. I want to punch a wall 'till my knuckles are pushed back into my arm. I want to tear my abdomen open and pull my goddamn polycystic ovaries out. I want to starve myself 'till I slip into a coma. I want to throw myself off a building, regret it all the way down and then have my insides splattered all over the tarmac below.

:middle_finger_medium-light_skin_tone: :middle_finger_medium-light_skin_tone: :middle_finger_medium-light_skin_tone:

fuck my brain