My weird problem

[Vicious Retard]

I have a you problem that's a little strange. I have a habit of using my index finger to force out feces. but it's caused me some problems ever since I started the habit I have leakage and poop that either is glue like or diarrhea. Also I lost a copious amount of weight and blood comes out. Another issue is that my gut and think their feels tight until I do the habit. My gastroenterologist told me that the habit is negatively affecting my digestive system and is the cause of inflammation. My therapist that I have OCD. Despite knowing that this habit is bad for me and giving advice on how to deal with it I still continue to do this disgusting habit. Also fuck you I'm not taking meds.

[Vicious Retard]

I apologize for posting this