How to recognize the right one?



  • I thought I should make an update on the treacherous list because a few things came up so far:

    • someone who's not your partner seems better ("is he the one?")
    • not being able to stop thinking about them
    • wanting to be with them as often as possible
    • not getting mad with them for treating you like shit or doing things you don't like
    • he's deflowered you
    • you married him prematurely
      (premature marriages tend to be invalid and can be nullified even by the catholic church 🤷 )
    • you have already invested a lot (or should I say invested too much to leave?)

    Heck I even believe that you can fall in love with someone other than your husband, while you're married, and that does not tell you, that your husband isn't the right one.

    Did you know that priests, and I mean the faithful ones, those that don't father one kid after the other 😅 , tend to fall in love with women multiple times through their life? It is human to fall in love. It does not mean that your life's choice was wrong...



  • @petrapark3r said in How to recognize the right one?:

    @OliveOlivia said in How to recognize the right one?:

    @petrapark3r There will always be someone more good looking, more smart, and other things, and though the person you think is the one may not be perfect, they will feel perfect to you. They may not be the best looking, but they will look the best in your eyes.

    I kind of hope that it would be like that. And I hope that you personally, in a subjective sense, will experience it this way. But my spidersense tingles... In all honesty I believe that the one will not feel perfect, or look perfect – and I'm rather certain that there are many relationships where this is the case. But...

    Let me add something to that... maybe you've heard of marriage preparation courses (churches offer those sometimes... sometimes they are good... sometimes they are pretty shit, but I'm talking about the good ones). People there tell you, that you should be together (not living together...) at least 1½ years before getting married. Because that is the time, when the "pink glasses" have worn off and you see all the mistakes and imperfections and they have started to annoy you too. If then you still want to spend your life with that person, and I mean really want it and not just stay in the relationship, because you have already invested too much, then marrying might be actually the right decision...

    The relationship will not be perfect, but its the only one you want to be in. That's what I think the one is

    I can fully agree with this. You'll want no other. You'll know he's the right one. You don't need someone better looking, or smarter, or more romantic, because when you're really close to them, you feel all those needs just disappear and you're content to have just him, just the one. Finally found him, finally at home...

    Yeah, this. Having slept over it, I think I'd say things more carefully. I'd say there will propably be enough days in any relationship, where you don't feel content to have him. But in general, and especially in the good moments, when you're open to hear your heart speak, you will hear it say just that: that you're at home with this person...



  • @OliveOlivia said in How to recognize the right one?:

    @petrapark3r There will always be someone more good looking, more smart, and other things, and though the person you think is the one may not be perfect, they will feel perfect to you. They may not be the best looking, but they will look the best in your eyes. The relationship will not be perfect, but its the only one you want to be in. That's what I think the one is

    Hmm, I think I get what you mean now. Does the following sound right?:

    When you feel connected to the one, you feel kind of satisfied, like you don't need anything else in the world (like you dont need to compare), like being with him is simply enough.



  • @petrapark3r yeah, or more than enough






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