A bit splitted personality (pt. 2)

  • SEEKERS Global Veteran

    I just reread what I wrote here on TWS, for the all time while I was here. I noticed one thing. I never talk like my alter-ego @spaceboy talks. But when I logging in and starting to write, something switches inside me and @spaceboy comes.

    Strange feeling, need to admit.

    Moreover my account's author creates some kind of character, which reflects in everyone, who communicate with him. And other TWS characters are reflecting in my mind. And everyone have his (her) own reflection, her (his) own kaleidoscope pattern..

    This is wonderful sight.

    And what about you? Do you also notice the difference between you and you and another you in this vast of unexplored minds?

  • @spaceboy

    That’s why I tried to be the real me.
    I wear a mask in my real life, the mask for acceptance. But don’t we all?
    I was tired of playing the roles forced upon me by my peers.
    So I joined this place. The place where I unmasked my real self, cause what can a stranger have against you?

    Also, it’s very intriguing to observe other users play their parts.
    It’s like reading a never ending novel.

  • No. But at some point in my life i did thought i have some problems with multiple personalities. But today, i kind of know who i am, and can freely switch between these alter-egos which are basically created mindsets for specific reasons and people. I still go from 0 to 100 and back real quick, yet i feel like my personality is a lot more stable thanks to these egos. If i wanna be in a fighting mood, i jump in one, if i wanna relax, i jump to another(if i have enough energy to do so, takes a minute). Before it was very hard to relax after doing something im passionate about, or if i woke up feeling chill and calm, it was super hard to start up my mind to make it think.

  • Hmm for me, I have different level of energy with diverse people. I'm kinda ambivert.. I just can't take it talking with fake people, I can sense who is faking it and pretending to care. I know I'm bad, I don't let anyone come into my life. I do have stages of friendship too, if I consider you as my close friend or closest friend.. consider yourself as lucky. Yeah, lucky because I don't share the same volume of attention and time to people who I considered friends and close friends. 🙂
    I don't share too much with my friends in person, I select people who I can talk with anything under the sun with intense verification of transparency. Haha
    You need to reach such level of friendship to unlock secrets and other deep talks we will have

  • Truth is, our nature is so deeply social, that we can never really know who we are, unless we express ourselves. Of course you can put on a mask and hide yourself behind all the time, but that also means YOU yourself will never know who you are. Or even more accurate: you'll never be who you really are. Or maybe still more accurate: You will never really be.

    To be honest, like our h0rny friend, I use TWS to let go of my masks, to be myself more, to be more. It does help, but I obviously wish it to transcend the cyberspace...

    To relate to your experience: Writing is something very different than speaking. When writing (if you really know how) you will automatically say things more clearly than you would if you spoke. So, I don't write like I speak, but for me it's not a different personality, it's kind of like being slower, or more tempered, or more to the point.

    I believe there is a way to transcend your masks. Karl Jung called it "integrated". He said there are people who only wear masks: A man might be a completely different person in front of his boss, with his subordinates and with his wife. He might have completely different personalities for each situation. An integrated personality however is one whom you clearly recognize, no matter in which situation he is. Jung studied countless people, with and without personality disorders. He didn't really like categories not even the ones he himself tentatively formulated to be able to talk about certain psychic constellations. Really interesting guy.

  • When I was a tiny child, about thirteen or fourteen, I had the bright idea of hauling down the full length wardrobe mirror and placing it behind me as I stared into bathroom mirror, so seeing the infinite variances of my personality as they stretched out into the multiverses. At first it was satisfying just to stare in wonder, but then I thought, what if I actively try to project my consciousness into the body of one of my other selves? This I did. It was difficult at first, and then weirdly easy. I moved from universe to universe, into each subtly different version of myself. It was after what seemed like forever, moving down the line, that I started to notice more pronounced changes. I was older. I wore an elaborate kind of fashion, the colour of my eyes changed from grey-yellow to hazel. Also, into my mind, the implicate knowledge that my name in this universe was 'Professor Mikael Shelly', a science professor. I was married to a lady called Diane, who worked as a seamstress in a small linen factory.

    And at this point, I still wasn't scared or unnerved. In fact, I rather liked the idea of staying in Mikael Shelly's body and assuming his identity permanently. I only started to get cold feet when his wife Diane appeared at my shoulder and explained that, if I stayed in this dimension, irreparable damage would be caused to the fabric of reality itself. This wouldn't be caused through any scientific problem, but through something called, 'Moral Dissonance'. It was always the plan for me to come here, she said, but I had to go back. And to return to my original teenage body, I must follow her instructions exactly.

    She took out two pocket mirrors and made me create 'the infinite chain' but on a far smaller scale. I must then put the two mirrors in my breast pocket. She then asked me, weirdly, if I was scared of moths. I told her I was, a little bit, though she told me I'd be just fine ...as she caught this moth and placed it on my forehead, right about where the 'third eye' is. The moth just sat there perfectly still.

    She told me that I needed to trust her. This wasn't really an issue: I trusted her implicitly. She placed a white linen blindfold over my eyes and helped me down the stairs, into the street, where I heard airplanes doing loop-the-loop stunts in some distant corner of the sky. She told me we were in the 'rec. That she was going to place me on the roundabout and spin me around. At the exact point where I lost count of the revolutions, she said, I would wake to find myself re-interred in my original body.

    And so it proved. I put the full-length mirror back where I found it and simply carried on with my own life. But sometimes I still sense Professor Mikael Shelly's personality reposed within me; it happens when I'm relaxed and daydreaming. I hadn't consciously thought about the incident in years, @spaceboy until I read 'A bit splitted personality'. What I can say about the Professor's personality as opposed to mine: he's a lot more carefree and self-indulgent, and I guess that's fine. I remember the questioning look in his eyes and can identify it on my own face sometimes. It's all very dense and satisfying, like a dream. He's more comfortable in his own skin than I'll ever be, but at the same time, I get the impression that I've got my own personality traits that he's deficient in.

  • SEEKERS Global Veteran

    @IM-NOT-H0RNY And what is a measure to understand what is real you, and what is mask? 🙂
    You say you wears the mask in real life, and put if off here. But if we change the words in the sentence, it doesn't change anything, cause both of it will you, with mask of without, spitted or joined.

  • SEEKERS Global Veteran

    @cjko I like the way of your thoughts. Good position to keep yourself safe. And now I want to ask about your opinion. Am I a fake or not? 🙂

  • @spaceboy haha that needs an intense verification through conversing me.In my opinion, you are kinda weird . You think deep and you're open-minded. You build walls too for yourself, if I'm not mistaken.

  • SEEKERS Global Veteran

    @Indrid-Cold Wow.. This text requires a deep analysis. Why not to create another topic, where you will write your case in more details? I think there are lots of them, which are still hidden.

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