so I need help. please tell me if this poem sounds suicidal



  • im staring at the white wall
    hard enough to look through
    but there is nothing I see
    nothing I want to see
    my eyes glaze over
    and just above the reality
    in the storm of cauldron hover
    and I try, I really do
    to find the map dug beneath
    I want to follow it
    and get sucked in ,
    in the eye of the storm.
    I want to find the melody
    in the raging, chorusing winds
    but just when I think I hear it
    they snap me to reality
    the blank wall taunting me
    with its monotonous plains and ridges
    I can't take it anymore
    I splash it red,
    I draw a map in the wall
    a path drawn with my crimson
    a way I direct, a way I choose
    a way I pave, a way I see the end to.

    I really don't remember how long long back I wrote this or what my state of mind was. but I was just looking at it and my friend thinks its suicidal. what do y'all think.



  • @onism No, I don't think it sound suicidal. The thing about a good poem like yours is it's leaves the reader to project their own feelings on it. Me, for instance, the white wall is my screen where I should be doing work. But I get sucked down these rabbit holes of procrastination and the splash of red is the feeling of anxious guilt that consumes me and makes me angry with myself. "a path drawn with my crimson, a way I direct, a way I choose a way I pave, a way I see the end to" is like I can look back and see the long hours of time and the crimson path is so clearly pointing away from the path I was supposed to be on and yet I seem to draw this same path everytime. Way more often then I should. I choose this way. It's nobody's fault but my own. I want to find the melody (and rhythm that it seems the rest of the world has)
    in the raging, chorusing winds (of turmoil inside me)
    but just when I think I hear it
    they snap me to reality
    the blank wall taunting me
    with its monotonous plains (and this is EXACTLY how I feel about my workload. (a blank wall of monotonous work that I can only see miles of with no end in site) I REALLY liked IT!!!!!



  • @Zen00 I don't but my friend does. so were kind of trying to pick it apart and analyse it. but please tell me u didn't relate it to suicide. I just need one person to side with me to prove my point😂 😂



  • @onism said in so I need help. please tell me if this poem sounds suicidal:

    @Zen00 I don't but my friend does. so were kind of trying to pick it apart and analyse it. but please tell me u didn't relate it to suicide. I just need one person to side with me to prove my point😂 😂

    When I first read it, I didn't. When I reread it with the idea of suicide in mind, I did😂
    but to me it sounds more like someone being stuck in a rut



  • @Zen00 I know🙄 😂
    but its exactly about that. being stuck.



  • @onism Sorry, I should have specified 😂
    I mean temporary rut, it feels like it will last forever, like as if there's something that needs to be followed to get out. Hence, the looking for the map at the beginning. The second map is deciding to make your own way out, finding an end to the rut yourself instead of it making one for you.

    but only you can really know what you mean when you write something. It may be old ,but they're still your old words, feelings, and thoughts!:)



  • @onism

    I don't think it's about suicide, I think it's about being stuck in the same monotonous life. The part that could lead to thinking about suicide might be:

    I can't take it anymore

    I splash it red,

    I draw a map in the wall

    But imo this is the author trying to get out of the confort zone... The plash of red is the blood sweat and tears that the struggle of rowing agaisnt the current and leave the confort zone is.



  • @onism i think u r just a little bitch



  • @onism Do you think its about suicide ?



  • @ChainedRebel7 ooh damn. that's a really good perception. I absolutely love your for your reply. And thank you sooo much😀 😀 😀



  • @GirlNextDoor guys can be bitchs to bud



  • @onism My analysis:
    The person is just bored of the monotony when he knows he is made for a life with so much more vibrancy.
    He wants to explore and be a part of an adventure the way i interpret it. This poem is very motivational and not at all suicidal!
    It may be about someone who's sad, but after all it's about breaking free from the dull routine and desire to overcome the hurdles (which he has probably faced a lot of, without losing hope).

    nothing I want to see

    He does want to see something. This implies there's hope. A suicidal person is the one who's lost all hope.

    in the storm of cauldron hover

    I didn't get this line o.o

    and I try, I really do; to find the map dug beneath

    I want to follow it

    I draw a map in the wall

    More hope.

    and get sucked in; in the eye of the storm.

    I want to find the melody; in the raging, chorusing winds

    This is wanting adventure imo.

    a way I direct, a way I choose; a way I pave, a way I see the end to.

    Can't get more motivational than that lol.



  • @Zen00 true😬



  • @onism Please forgive me for adjusting it to be more obvious to my own issue. This is WAY less poetic than yours, but you inspired me to change yours to match my exact, current feelings. Thank you for helping me address this and express it so clearly. This is how your poem talks to me. Maybe it helps you clarify somehow as well,
    I'm staring at the white wall
    my eyes glaze over
    and just below the reality
    I find a map to dig beneath
    I follow it, as I always do
    and get sucked into
    a series of rabbit holes.
    I want to find the melody
    among the raging, chorusing winds
    but when I focus to hear it
    I drown again in the outside
    "SNAP" back to consciousness,
    the blank wall taunting me
    with its monotonous plains and hills
    I feel a rush of red,
    Oh No!.....the time
    I draw my own map on the wall
    a path with no crimson
    the way I should choose
    the way I should pave
    why oh why can't I trick my way to the end?



  • @ChainedRebel7 And this is where I hear my mother become a Nike ad as she says "Just Do It!" But I'm not built like other people. For some unknown reason, I need a stronger reason to just do it. I wait until an unbearable tension builds. And the worst is sometimes the tension NEVER comes. Why doesn't it come. Why can't I feel the fear just to feel the fear like other people do? I look at the work. It SUCKS! It's incredibly uninspiring and everyday is exactly the same. I try to make up REAL consequences like it will equal failing or being fired or a worse life if I don't complete these things, but then I read the same sentences over & over & continue to realize how much the work sucks and I'd rather be doing ANYTHING but the work. Why doesn't "Just Do It" work on me? My problem is I "Just Don't Care". How's that for a shoe slogan? "Slippers.... because you just don't care." 🙂



  • @depressed-retard she is a he lol



  • @ChainedRebel7 obviously. I really don't mind. and I'm super happy to see what you've done with it.



  • @ChainedRebel7 I really like this



  • @Kana about the line ' in the storm of cauldron I hover', cauldron isn't just a witch's pot but it also means shit ton of repressed and strong emotions. so it probably means that you're just about ready to open the doors to all those emotions and face whatever you've bottled up. or could mean that you're cautious about all the rage boiling in the cauldron and are just waiting for it to spill out.



  • @Lurker I knowww, that's exactly what I think I meant.




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