@mia912It's OK to ask for help is BECAUSE you've worked so hard, and done so much, not despite that!. And it wouldn't be a hand-out. Anyone who may help, in any way. Well... that would be their way of trying to be just like YOU! Remember that
honey its totally normal for you to be feeling positively about your father. it’s very easy to confuse warm feelings for attraction- take it from a repressed lesbian. it would help if you talked to a professional so they could help work you through this. you shouldn’t feel guilty or gross, but acting on what you think the feelings are can only result in trauma and negative consequences.
Be cautious when telling her, she might think that you're just her friend because you want to be her boyfriend. Make it obvious that you enjoy her friendship and don't come off too strong, it might scare her off. Is it possible that she sees you as a romantic option after all those years?
@itsnix I take this moment to make everyone realize what we assume good and bad is just a result of our own upbringing, and it simply is how we are used to perceive our own reality.....