Is talkwithstranger.com addictive? How many hours do you use this everday?
Just doing number crunching based on the most active and addicted people here
Do You have any addiction? If you do what is it?
I have a rather unpleasant experience with addiction. I've inherited the addict gene from my father who has it from his father so i am a genuine full blown addict. That means that whatever addictive substance i contact in any way, i have much more chances to become addicted to it.
Like weed. I am addicted to weed currently, and i managed to keep my butt off MDMA and psilocybin after trying, i'm not into alcohol of any kind and i also smoke cigarettes, but in my condition i don't even count those.
I had a hard time with pharmaceutics, especially Alprazolam and those that end in -zepam.
I also developed some kind of sex addiction, as in if i don't get laid i get extreme mood swings. This works the same for the others too, but i can count more side effects of not using the formers, while lack of sex is just mood swings.
I see you guys don't quite know what addiction is to it's fullest extent, i'm not complaining about my life, neither am i criticizing you, i'm trying to raise awareness over this rather touchy subject.
Stressed and stuck after being released from prison
I just been going thru a lot in the past two years. I left my husband august of 2016. I was starting to get on my feet until I ended up getting pulled over and had a probation violation warrant for not reporting. I went to jail in Dec 2016 then I was sentenced to prison Jan 2017. Although I had left my husband my husband and I had been talking and we were trying to,worl,on our relationship. I was in prison from January to August 2017.
After about 4 months of being in prison I decided that my relationship with my husband was unhealthy. So I told him I was going to stop calling I was completely done. I got out of prison on my judicial release(early release) in August. Since I was released early I was on probation again. Since I was on probation I had to live in my hometown and I had to stay at my fathers home which was a complete mess because he only has a 3 bedroom home and i did not have a bedroom because my little brother and sister live there. Not only that but my dad has lived in the same house for over 20 years. The area in which he lives used to be a nice neighborhood has turned into the ghetto. I know practically everyone in my small hometown from kids I went to school with to nearly all the drug dealers. I was pretty popular back on my school days. I can't go anywhere without a few people stopping me to say hi or try to get me to do or help them sell drugs. So its really stressful. On top of that My dad had been telling me I needed to get a job to help with bills and what not. I had no problem with it. I put in some applications buy I had not heard back from anywhere I applied to which I think it had something to do with my record and reputation. However, I was offered a job from one of my friends parents as they own a storw. I I told my probation officer that I wanted to get a job and I had been offered one but my probation officer said I was not allowed to work at that time because I had to focus on my recovery and had to attend my counseling sessions, treatment classes, classes for,probation, report 3 times a week and go,in front of the judge every 2 weeks. Which they want me to go to outpatient treatment because I had been an heroin addict since I was 14-21. I had been clean from heroin for about 3 years before I went to prison off the hard drugs other than marijuana. But I started working back at the strip club to help survive because I couldn't depend or ask my dad or my family for anything. I never had and I'm not going to start.
After being released from prison I started smoking marijuana as I use it as a coping mechanism because it helps me stay clean off the hard drugs and I was tempted to use. I've expressed to my probation officer and the judge that smoking weed really helps me when I feel the urge to use. That I do not consider marijuana a drug because it is used in many states for medicial purposes and marijuana is not addictive or causes accidents or death and that I will always smoke marijuana. They do not agree with me obviously and our state has not passed the law yet.
So, anyways I had to live with my father once I got released from prison. Which was a disaster. My lil brother is struggling with a crack/cocaine addiction. So I was really bothered by that and not having my own room to sleep in I had just felt like a burden to my father as he has been dealing with a lot of stress due to being behind bills, dealing with my brother and my pregnant sister. He would argue with me all the time. I felt like my family didn't want me there.
About two weeks after I was released and staying at my fathers My husband whom I had not talked to since like April of 2017 found out I was out of prison. He called me saying he wanted to see me.. I was very nervous about seeing him as I had left my husband for many reasons but I do and will always have love for him. So I met him a few times hoping maybe we could possibly work things out and maybe I could go home. But every time I met with him he just wanted to try to get me to have sex and I wasn't ready for all that. I wanted us to start over and rebuild and work on our relationship. So then because I didn't want to have sex he would try to argue with me and tell me that he wanted to see our dog coco yet the whole time I was in prison I asked him to go pick coco up from my fathers house. He failed to do so. But now he wanted to see our dog? I told him i would bring Coco to see him next time I was in town. He stopped bothering so much.
About a month later I met a guy and we started talking. He was very sweet and nice. However, about a month after we started talking I found out that he had a fiance and I stopped talking to him. It really hurt my feelings. So I decided I didn't need to get into a new relationship with anyone. I should be single for awhile. Well, after a few weeks I started getting lonely again. I went to the bar a couple weekends in a row and hooked up with a few guys. Some of them picked me up from my fathers house to take me on dates but they all knew I didn't want nothing serious. Just wanted to have fun and become friends with benefits (f*'m buddies)
Then my husband calls me telling me that he knows that I had been out with guys that my father, sister and brother all told him what I was doing and who I was going out with. He was saying I was cheating on him. I was like how is this when we aren't together. We may be married but we have been separated for quite some time. So he started texting me saying that when we get divorced that he is going to,me me sure I get nothing and that he will be getting coco once the divorce was finalized. So I felt pretty betrayed by my family. I felt that they had absolutely no reason to tell my husband about what I was doing and what was going on with my life. I did not even want to be around them after this happened.
So I started thinking and talking to a few of my friends that I know that went to prison and got early release. One of my closest friends told,me that she stopped reporting and turned herself in and she was sent back to prison to do the rest of her sentence. So, i thought if I would stop reporting and let my probation officer put a warrant out for my arrest that they would send me back to prison, so that way I could just finish the rest of my time and be off probation completely but unfortunately they would not let me do it. Instead they let me back out.
While I was in jail my father had called my husband and he ended up picking up our dog coco. My father and I argued a lot after I got out because of him giving coco to my husband. My father was also saying that if I am never going to do anything with my life. That I'm going to be worthless just like my mother. That I am always going to be in and out of jail or prison and that he don't want me around. It really hurt my feelings. So I packed my things and moved into my older brothers apartment.
My brother and the mother of his child I are addicted to heroin. Its hard to be around them when they use because it makes me want to get high. But I did not relapse. I just would stay gone majority of the day and come home to go to eat sleep and go to bed. Well I over slept and missed two appointments in one day one with my probation officer and the other with my counselor. Usually when you miss an appointment they will give you a probation violation and put you in jail so I stopped reporting again and when they put a warrant out I turned myself in. I begged the judge to let me sit the remainder of my time out and he still would not let me. He released me again from jail...
So, now I am back in my brothers apartment again. When I got home I realised a lot of my things were missing like some of my favorite designer clothes that my husband bought me from Saks fifth ave, gold and silver coins that I started collecting that cost about 300 each, my old cell phones, tablet, MAC make up and shoes. I confronted my brother about it. He said he would talk to the mother of his child about it. She said she didn't steal anything clothes. That when I was in jail her little sister stayed and must have. Later that day she messaged me saying she found some of my clothes. Well she brought some of them back.. But of course my favorite clothes were not there.. Then my tablet showed up in my bedroom closet out of no where. But my gold coins cell, phones, shoes and make up are still missing. Its really stressing me out.
Well I was using his phone tonight he got a text message from his baby mom and I can't help but to read his past messages from her.. I was being nosey. I see a message from her during the time I was in jail saying she could get 100 out of the clothes and she said they could sell the gold and silver coins. So now I know that not only did my brother know that she stole and sold my clothes but he was obviously in on it too. Which really hurts my feelings because I help out a lot. I pay $250 a month in rent, buy groceries and house hold nessessities, give him money when he needs it and baby sit my niece whenever. So it really hurts my feelings that he would just do this to me. But I do,understand addiction but even when I was addicted to drugs I never had to steal. I always found a way to get money by hustling for my dealers.
I am struggling with what to do. I want to move out on my own so I don't have to deal with this but with me being on probation and my probation officer does not want me working and in out patient treatment. I just don't know what or how I am going to do it. I almost think what would be best for me if I went to do the remainder of my sentence which literally is only 19 days as of now. Which is almost 3 weeks. Which it will be over in no time then I can be off probation. I am thinking about not reporting to probation anymore and let them put another warrant out for my arrest and turn myself in again. I just don't know what to do with my things. Maybe get a storage unit and put my things in there before I turn myself in. I just don't even know if it will even work this time because it has not the past 2 times I went to jail. I just want to get a real job so that i can start living and get a job instead of working at the strip club and move out of my home town on my own.
Idk if this sounds dumb to anyone or if I am thinking clearly. I am just stressed and stuck in a hard spot.
This is my story of irresponsibility and bad decisions. Don't try this at home.
I was a pretty good kid growing up, I was an overweight, fun and food loving kid with a great sense of humor. Always had an addictive personality though and that is where the trouble started. Tried marijuana when i was 14 and used it occasionally from there until I became about 17. Shitty HS student, stayed back in TENTH grade, yeah I'm an asshole. Meanwhile my little bro become school president. I worked as a dishwasher at a CC and of course that was just the culture to get high. Smoker regularly by that point, sneaking hits out back and on my walk home. Throughout high school the frequency increased a lot to where it was morning, during, and after school heavily. Made it my priority to get and herb I could good or bad and smoke until the feelings went away. Paranoia started to become a regular. The drinking and partying started more in my 20's. Had a job with my mother 2 days after graduation and worked with that company for a couple years. Made money, lived at home, and spent most of it on pot, shitty food and bad decisions. Of course no aspirations of college or self improvement, because that meant less pot money and buying whatever I wanted. I didn't even get my license until 21 and drove my dads old truck. Had that for a bit when I drove to my glamorous deli job. Smoking pot ALL the time while there. On break, on the way home, and then whenever I felt. Worked there three years and lost my job for stealing THEN hiding some kind of candy. Started to realize my social and mental issues a bit by that point. I always remained one of the funnier guys in the room, liked to party on occasion but the addictive personality kept getting worse as my weight went up. At 17 I was about 300+ pounds and progressively got worse. I was oddly active for my size, always had a pretty intense fast talking personality. I was about 325 through most of high school, going up and down 15 lbs or so. Always remained a heavy pot smoker. Did some psychedelics in HS and early 20s, definitely still affects from that. Drank at parties and with friends but as you can imagine I had to overdo it all the time. I was a fun drunk honestly but didnt limit my self ever. It wasn't too frequently, could never do it daily. And at this point I am STILL living at home like a loser. Started working for Whole foods Market in 2005 and as you'd think this just opened up the floodgates. Worked in the bakery making 8.00 hr and worked my way into being a baker and mixer. By this point I had my parents fairly new Saturn as they got something bigger. Paid my mom the monthlys on it and owned it fully by 2007. Moved in with on of my best friends and a newer friend, who turned out to be who I am closer to now. This was about the time the credit cards started. Instantly started buying the dumbest shit like hats, clothes, fast food, even though my mom was a kitchen manager for 20 years+. She is why i got into food, gav e me that first job out of HS and of course followed her to Whole Foods. Not good at thinking for my self. Every job I've had was through someone I knew. Worked my way in to the Prep Foods department where she was working, but she moved to Produce to not have nepotism issues. Worked in that department doing all types of jobs but never really got anywhere as far as moving up. My pot use just kept getting worse and it made me more irritable and lose focus. I was a hard worker for the most part, did a lot overtime and long work weeks. Getting high in my car in the lot on breaks, still spending money like shit because all I had was rent, phone bill, and 2 CCs...at the time. THEN I got approved for a Best Buy card for $3000 and that was the start of the spiral. Bought a laptop the day it was appvoved. Started buying all types of DVDs and video games and all types of electronics...usually while high. Pot was easy access because my best friend/landlord was the local dealer. TOO easy to stay high all the time. Our house became a party house, all in our mid to late 20's with a shitload of party friends. I
I learned to DJ and started getting weekly gigs that i had to work my schedule around. Did that for a few years, and built up more equipment and only paid minimums on my cards. Made an extra $200 a week with a solid paycheck.....that again went to pot and shit decisions. Buying sneaks, clothes, bad food, and put gas in my car. Pretty much a lazy POS that only did for himself. Got to the point where I was always behind on rent but still asking for bags of weed. Yeah, really focused and responsible. got to the point where I couldnt afford rent and all my debt, minor at this point, you'll see later... Moved back home after only five years and my parents weren't too bad about it, but there was some strain in the relationship. My pop is a pretty tough and scary dude and doent take shit. Meanwhile i'm a complaining loser blaming my probs on everyone else. Me and my mother still worked together at WFM and def helped us be closer, always looked out for each other. My mother is such a great and caring woman but takes no shit. Wasn't paying rent really and just getting high in my old bedroom in front of a 25 inch TV in a room filled with shoes, clothes, DJ equip, and unnecessary shit, like so much clutter. My pot addiction was intense and horrible and the only way I got through the day was to be high all the time. Just went to work, came home to get high and see what my friends were doing, usually at a bar or drinking somewhere. I was really terrible by this point, just spending all my money on the worst shit, eating horribly despite being a cook and living with a cook. Late night drinking and eating shitty unhealthy foods at 3am. Getting high was even worse, just sat around and got high watching reruns. By this point my friends were all engaged, or married w kids. Got me into real bad depression, pot got even worse. Things with my parents were getting tense and I needed to start finding better ways to spend my time. My car died because I didnt keep up with basic shit like oil changes. All money went to the Mike fun fund. Decided to hit up a HS friend and see if he could help with a car. Talked me into a Toyota Avalon financed for about 19,000. Great idea right? Just ruined my last car and bought some flashy money pit for 375 a month.Now just paying for this new car, getting high and still not paying rent. Still worked at the same job and and my health was starting to feel it more being on my feet 50 hrs a week. All while coming home lonely and depressed, getting high. I looked into dating sites, did a few in the past and met a few, hung out with a few for short periods but never had any self esteem to keep going. Oh by the way, I've always had really bad self esteem because of being obese. I never dated or even hooked up with any ladies in HS, too afraid to try, felt like a pot head loser. Of course find out years later there were some ladies that wanted me to hit on them and thought i was cute. Typical. So now I am at my parents house really depressed at age 33 on all the dating sites, talking to a lot of ladies feeling a little better and trying to get something going. FINALLY I found a good one. We talked for a bit, she was cool w my pot use, had a good bit in common. We meet up and started dating shortly after. Both of us still lived at home which was a bit of an issue but I always drove to her place EVERYDAY.
Shortly after this things at work were getting worse, budget cuts, new management, ridiculous rule changes. I had now been there 9 years making solid money, DJing every weekend . Then they started to target me and my mother. Admittedly I was losing care for the job and the mundane schedule and work. But they decided to go after my mother and push her buttons and I wasnt having it. I started talking about management pretty horribly and my Taurus temper got the best of me and I was fired for it. Now unemployed living at home collecting UComp and living off of my paid time off that was built up. Decided not to work, but still DJed every weekend(pretty illegal) but you think i cared..? With my new girl and found out soon that we both were not good with money, should have been the first flag, but not for me. Still buying pot and using heavy making not much money at all, and driving this financed car back and forth there everyday about 40 min total. Didn't do any upkeep on the car just made sure we were having fun and spending on us. She lived only with her mother, lost her father very young and it was a tough situation for them and there I am just sitting on their couch drawing portraits and pictures for friends making side money. CC bills kept getting worse, but still managed min payments. Somehow paying for that money trap car and racking up mileage. Last year we decided to move in together, both from our parents house......great idea...and i was still unemployed. My freak out manifested itself as quitting pot cold turkey....best move ever right? TOTAL HELL. I wanted to get clean to get a job and it turned out to be the worst thing ive ever done. Severe anxiety, no eating or sleeping, barely functional, had to go to therapy because i constantly freaked out and had weird pains. got a little better in about 40 days or so. Came time for the move and still no job but was making okay side money, again probably illegal. Got moved in covered the first couple months rent and was doing okay. But I decided to open another credit card for a bed, because why pay for it outright when you can go into severe debt and just have it right away. Got a rescue dog, Ruby, she is so beautiful. I had to have a do but we already had a cat and a very feral cat. And the my lady decided to buy everything under the sun and open up new cards, Oh and trade her car in and lease a new car. I didnt get a job until our second month there and of course it was through a friend, but it was flower delivery at 9 per hour. Hit the Big Time! Then I decided to start smoking again, best idea ever. DJing a lot more by then making about 1200 a month doing that. Thought I'd be okay still paying minimums on the cards and contributing to bills. Getting high a lot more now that im in my own place. My average per month was about $350, could have paid my car with that alone. Oh and still paying off four years on a car that I didnt keep up with. Made minor repairs and just didnt give shit as long as it drove. Fake inspected for 100 bucks. All we did was get take out spend money on RIDICULOUS amounts of things online, Amazon mainly. no joke about 250 a month on nonsense and one time use shit. Proposed to her and opened another card to get it, another great idea. can barely pay other bills but had to get that ring. Pot still a staple through all this and constant irritability and fighting because i am a needy child that doesnt listen. Spending just got worse and then I decided to leave that job a year later to try something w better pay but intensely physical. Made it two days and quit because i am so out of shape and my back is terrible. Again unemployed while my fiance is pretty much covering all bills. Credit cards were now not even getting paid at all and rent was impossible. having cable and electric was very costly and we couldnt keep up. And to make matters SO much better I ran that car into the ground because i didnt put OIL in it ever......NEVER CHANGED OR FILLED OIL. And I still owe 11.000 and climbing. Total fucking asshole. Our cell phone bill is about to get shout off ,along with the heat, cable, and losing the apartment with an insane amount of shit in here that was purchased on impulse. We ate what we wanted did what we wanted and had no thought of how it will pan out. I am now in debt for this car for $11000 and rising, havent paid in two months, no CCs being paid total balance is at least $12000, And tax people are coming after me. I'm about to be out on the street with my lady and pets with about 25,000 in debt not to mention her cards totaling 15-20000 and her car lease cosigned by her mother.
LONG story short. I've spent at least $90,000 on pot in my life and thats where this has me. I would do every bit of my life over and maybe could have been a normal contributing member of society. Now just about to be a homeless loser that couldnt control himself. This is going to affect so many people in a very bad way. I am a selfish piece of shit and I deserve every bit of what's coming.
Comment if you'd like if you even make it through this novel
Thanks and I hope you live a better life than me.
I wasnt alone, and I made it this far
I made it this far
I made it to the end of her time. Despite all odds, all statistics, I made it. I made her a beautiful life. Day in and day out never once forgetting to say “I love you”. Even if I didnt get a kiss on the cheek, an “I love you”, or a hug goodbye, I was content.
I was content because the person I loved smiled. An addictive smile. Whether it be because she did something naughty or a promise of fun playdates, she would smile. And it was the most beautiful one the world has ever seen. Im looking for that light to my life, the gift to the world, the smile that was so addictive and so so contagious.
I was content because she was breathing. With every life there comes a price. And that price is death. You never know what to expect or when to expect it. One minute your love is there, and the next they are becoming a distant memory.
I was content because I did the best I could, and the little things could make her smile. Stupid sock puppets made from 97 cent socks. The barbie I bought at the dollar store. Or even her jumping from the top bunk with a tablecloth as a cape. She didnt care about what she wore or what she played with. Because she didnt need that. Her happiness didnt run on that.
I didnt make it this far alone. I didnt have friends that helped me. I didnt have family help me. I had me. And I had her. Despite feeling so lost, so confused, I was not alone. The bundle of life and happiness was right there, and she was all I needed.
we made it this far
My time with TWS
So 9 months ago i joined this site, i could have been in reddit or somewhere else, but i preffered this site because of it's uniqueness, it might be new but i see something beautiful and honestly it will be a number one chatting site in the world.
I was bored that day, and out of all sites i have went through i found my self addicted to this one. I have made friends, who cares for me like my blood brothers and sister's. I have friends who counts on me. I feel loved around here, without a doubt this is my home. Lets be honest from where this site used to be till now we experienced alot and it becomes more interesting day by day.
Out of all odds here we are having fun of new features day by day, number of spammers decreases each minute, and the site gets new users each and every second. Our admin went through difficult times but he knew it was only challenges, they were'nt mean to destroy him, instead they promoted, increased and strengthen him to a better self.
It feels good sometime and hypes peoples emotions and feelings when you are in the public chat and the admin pops up, joining fun. Tell me which kind of leader does that? How fun is it when you have fun with the admin? This is another thing which made me stick on this site. Even if i went through alot but still i visit here every single time. It is pretty addictive because of it's awesomeness.
All i can say is that @TalkWithStranger "you will win, not immediately, but definitely. This site will be known more than reddit or any other famous site ever existed, and your name will be praised as a living legend who succeeded in making people happy"
Why are you addicted to talk with stranger?