@Ultraviolet somehow I caught feels from this. The moment you were stuck in is well described I guess. I'm not usually into poems but this worked for me.
Thia is AMAZING! Your structure flows so well and your imagery is very intense, inciting a whirlwind of different emotions. I would absolutely LOVE to hear more!
What an awesome rhyme scheme! It's very whimsical, and flows quite well. I enjoyed your slight change in the meter you practiced in certain parts. Keep writing, this was great!