Love hurts




  • I told you id be there for you and all i did was make you want me and kept you miserable. All i ever did was hurt people.But its not about people no more its not about you or me its about the world and what were doing to it.Were killing ourselves and i never wanted to live just to die but the fact i lived everyday where i was in danger...I dont know how but i made it out alive so that gives me an answer to one of my questions there is a point for me to have lived through it and learned from the experience. Mentally as a kid i wanted to die i had suicidal thoughts at 8. But i did not quit and i told my parents and they thought it was my adhd medicine that was doing it bur it wasnt i was tired of the pain but now im accepting it and im telling everyone bring the pain cuz i can take it i almost want it maybe it will teach me something. I lived my whole life in sin so nothing scares me. I saved myself for one day of marriage to my soul mate but now looking at it why would i want something like me? I look in the mirror i see a kid i look at what ive done i see a monster. You dont know or understand me but i told you enough to kinda see who i am but you seen nothing you knew this guy your whole life hopefully you will never seperate i wish nothing but the best for yah and i pray youll stay safe and he can keep you safe. Live everyday as your last time is short.but dont make it shorter.Im here for you as i am for family i accepted my fate and honestly where im going from here relationship wise is no where because theres no good people here and none will accept change. Lets just say these women want money not a man. I can get money but i want to earn Love because its priceless and im probably just going to wait til the right girl falls from heaven into my lap because im in hell the only thing that can pull me out would be an Angel but why would an Angel want a monster but then again you wanted me.What im trying to say is were friends and im focused now on myself and your literally the only girl i talk with and that has a proper mentality that i can relate to your smart your attractive in my mind you were that Angel but im a Devil with a silver tongue (metaphorical lol im not that bad)but i did talk my way into your life and clouded your judgement with pretty words and good intentions.the fact is i dont know if ill ever be sucessful idk whats going to happen i just hope i live through it just to get the chance to see you. Without you id still be doing what i been known to do but im happy i changed before something wrong happens i couldnt live with myself before now i dont see how people put up with me so thanks for being there for me when i felt alone i now kniw no matter where i am im not alone God is there and he listens to me and so do you and that meams so much more than a hug its more supporting than money could be i have something to say youll listen and you dont judge me for what ive done far as i know and thats alot to ask for and you gave me ambition now i can shape my life in more like yours because i never had the chance to do so because i was born as a pure heart and my heart got filled with greed and no longer i need what i need not what i want i want you i thought i needed you but you dont need me so im back on the journey of self determination in hopes i can find a way through the hardships thanks for supporting me through the worse because now im free because a Daisy inspired me for now your friend Brandon and i accept you always in my life and i may not be an impact on your life but you helped me now i see life more positively and i feel different i feel i dont need to get my way of things i just accept and am thankful now for what little i have and i no longer wish for more because why fix whats not broken?


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