Why am I even here?

  • Music Lovers

    Maybe Im not just talking about TWS. Maybe Im finally sitting back and realizing that my whole life so far...is just one big waste.
    Everyone tells me that my story is beautiful. That it makes me a strong person. That I am strong for persevering through the hard times. But the truth is, Im not strong. Not even a little.
    Every night I lay in my bed and my whole world just falls apart. The perfect day is crippled compared to the thoughts that enter my mind. I feel helpless. I feel worthless. I feel so completely alone. And you can sit here and tell me Im not alone, when I am.
    My whole life Ive struggled with social situations. With finding friends. And when I would find them, most left me. Most made me the afterthought. As of right now, I have a lot of โ€œfriendsโ€ on here. But Im struggling to determine which friends are real. Which people call me a friend merely because I seem popular? Which people call me friends because they took pity on my past life? Which friends just want to befriend me to know more about Ragnar?
    I hate it. I hate being the afterthought. I hate trying to be bubbly and outgoing and happy all the damn time. Because Im not. Im not happy. I always internally cringe at every word I type. I hate it. I hate trying to help a โ€œfriendโ€ and come to find out, they dont need you. They leave you on read and leave. They find their other friends that tell them the exact same thing. And leave me to be stepped all over once more.
    So I joined TWS for a few different reasons. And one of which was friends. But I just dont feel very...hopeful ig right now. I think I need a few days to chill.
    Look guys Im not sorry. Not even a little. Im done for a few days. Catch you on the flip side, pancakes

  • Yet some people here made lots of 'bestfriend' in just a matter of days. I think they forgot the whole value of friendship.
    PS: Just sayin'.

  • Also might I add to the fact I have never seen a post that reminds me of my own feelings when I feel down Yeah it just feels like shit like all the help is just a sick reminder of how the help appears in the first place getting left off without a word not feeling included in the conversation you. I look at people who live life and I see them happy with how they are but you always feel like youโ€™re missing out on something that you know you canโ€™t attain or in my case it feels like it... willoww I know thereโ€™s no way I can really word a way to help you and I possibly donโ€™t even know the answer to a kind of problem like this but just keep a good reminder that you matter cause if you donโ€™t feel like you do it just brings to more of this feeling just donโ€™t give up

  • @willoww Iโ€™m sorry you feel that way bestie I truly am. I donโ€™t care what you say because what you have gone through does make you strong it makes you who you are and thatโ€™s an amazing person. Everyone faces the questions of who are real friends and who are fake ones. Just know you absolutely have reall friends on here whether you realize it or not. I for one am a real friend and am always there if you need someone to talk to. Head up bestie things will be ok (>โ€ข.โ€ข)>0_1520137848630_1F410C0E-860C-4032-B956-06A81A71E41A.gif

  • Hope ya feel better willoww! Brings a chill to my heart to see a friend felling down.... best of luck!

  • Global Moderator

    @willoww said in Why am I even here?:

    Im struggling to determine which friends are real.

    I am real!

    @willoww said in Why am I even here?:

    Which friends just want to befriend me to know more about Ragnar?

    People befriend Ragnar to find out more about you.

    Also if you need someone to talk to you...
    Just remember you have people with whom you can talk...

  • Hey willow
    Girl, you are a beautiful soul even if you disagree!
    We all go through those thoughts at night- of life ahead, of friends, doubting ourselves etc...
    Well i think i can relate somethings to my and your friendship
    I'm not a "really good friend" of yours, but i'm glad we met and spoke a few times!
    In case you think i hate you or am trying to ignore you there's no such thing.
    I just don't understand this process of friendships and being bestie's ...
    Don't worry anyways you're not gonna listen to me and worry
    Yeah so.. take it light and live your life..
    Bish you gonna die in 70/80 years.. less time left
    Go live.

  • Music Lovers

    @willoww mallow, do not forget that I'm here for you! Do not forget that we( rag, mike,& me) are here for you. Cuz I don't know about others. But we are still exist to make our friendship really beautiful.

  • Gamers

    hmmm i am not very good at saying things, like these, so here goes, dont be sad and be happy and ecstatic, the real friends will always be there for you, every dark cloud has a silver lining and you will find yours soon :)

  • Thats the question i ask daily to myself too....

  • Freedom Writers - Writing

    Hey, I'm always available to listen to anything you want to say, or just someone to vent to. I've been through a lot myself, so I can probably relate to anything you've got going. I've always liked you because you are nice and funny. Feel free to talk to me about anything.

  • Gamers

    @sammy said in Why am I even here?:

    In case you think i hate you or am trying to ignore you there's no such thing.

    yeah i know, you have a habit of disappearing amidst conversations :DD

  • Gamers

    @azriel very well said azriel

  • I hope you considered me your real friend

  • @azriel
    True buddy!

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